


Broken, Not Ruined

by ReadingMittens



Series: Dick Grayson Angst [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Abuse, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 11:38:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11440071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReadingMittens/pseuds/ReadingMittens
Summary: The night of Blockbuster's demise caused a great impact on Nightwing and the life of Dick Grayson. Facing the abuse from Catalina Flores only to find himself in front of Jason Todd.





	1. Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to make this into a fanfic on its own, changing a few things from my original fic "I Told Her No..." so I can change things for the plot and all.
> 
> Check out my tumblr: ogboywonder.tumblr.com

_Turning his head away, Nightwing closed his eyes tightly, body tense as he stood on the mostly demolished street._ Bang! _He flinched at the sound of the gun going off, falling to his knees, hunching over. His gloved hands clenched in his hair. It felt like Blockbuster's thick blood was on his hands. It felt like a ton of bricks were pressing against his chest, trying to prevent him from breathing. He didn't deserve to breathe. He was a murderer. He killed someone. Couldn't even watch as it happened. Even now, he sat on the cold, wet ground, fighting for air._

_"No..." His word was faint at the feeling of him being pulled onto a rooftop, a strong arm around his body tightly and the sound of a grappling hook. But he didn't move. Didn't struggle against this. Too many thoughts were running through his head. What was Bruce going to say when he found out? Or Barbara? Tim? Worst of all, Alfred... The very people Dick thought of when letting Tarantula shoot Blockbuster._

_The moment they landed on the rooftop, Nightwing was on his back. The blue and black suit was getting soaked in the cold rain that poured down. But he didn't feel it. All he felt was shame. He had to turn himself in... He would never be able to look at Bruce again. The shaky breaths continued to shake Dick's body as he rambled._

_"What-What have I done... I-I killed-killed him... No... What're you doing..."_

_His voice shook almost as much as his body was, the light feeling of his suit being pulled down. The scarred body of Nightwing was soon revealed to the weight on top of him, more than the ton of bricks he felt. Another person. Yet blue eyes behind his mask remained on the clouded sky._

_"Shh, he's gone. He's dead."_

_"I-I killed him-"_

_"I killed him, Nightwing."_

_"No-I... No... I killed..."_

_His words were cut off by a hand over his mouth. Something was happening. She was doing something to his body. Yet he still didn't move his gaze. Didn't need to. She was lowering herself on his cock while making sure to keep her hand tightly over his mouth. The moans of Catalina filled the air around them as her hips began to move on him, letting herself enjoy the man in his catatonic state of shock._

_In a way, he felt as if he owed her this much. He had been... horrible. Let her kill. He was supposed to help her. Mentor her. But this felt wrong. It had to be wrong._

_"God, Nightwing... You love this. I can tell. You love this feeling. He's dead. He's gone. Just you and me."_

__  


_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Where could he go? He had no home. No friends left. No family. He failed Bruce, failed Alfred, Tim, and Barbara. All of them. Catalina was all he had left. The woman who had given him food and shelter. She gave him soft words and warm touches. And she fed him what to think. What to do. Dick hadn't left her place since that night. He kept himself where Catalina left him, on her bed. She advised he stay there. She brought everything he would need to him.

All he could do was thank her. Let her have what she wanted as a thank you. To let her hands run wild over his body. To let her bend him to make him act however she wanted.

Two months Dick had remained there. Letting her take control of him. 

That long until Dick was strong enough to leave the girl behind. Until she caught him trying to leave. Then caught him two more times after that. He was becoming a nuisance, she called it. Too much for her to handle. So, she did something while he was at his weakest, she got rid of him. For now, at least. She practically gave him to the thugs, members of a gang that specialised in human trafficking. Nothing but a goodbye kiss from Catalina to linger on his lips as he was slowly coming back into consciousness, hazy eyes as he was dragged away.

By the time he was able to regain full consciousness, he was tied tightly with his arms behind his back and ankles tied together as he sat on his knees. The room was dark and cold. It made Dick want to shrink away, but when he tried, he was only met with a sharp slap across his cheek from one of the men.

"Many people would pay good money for you, _Nightwing._ " The comment was made with a gruff voice and followed by a scoff, the sound of the man's shoes walking around him. Nothing but the domino mask remained on Dick's face. "So many would pay just to see you like this. Many would pay to hurt you, fuck you, kill you..." He growled into the hero's ear as Dick hung his head.

The blindfold around his mask that prevented him from seeing anything. It didn't matter. Blindfold or not, Dick still felt as if he couldn't breathe. 

"But we got bosses to answer to. Bosses that would be so very happy to see their enemy Nightwing like this. Wonder what he'll do to you." A dark chuckle before the sound of a door closing and then silence in the room except for the struggling breaths of Dick Grayson.

It felt like hours before the sound of the door opened again.

"In here boss, some girl practically handed him over to us, he was drugged when she handed him over. We remembered what'cha said about Nightwing, thought you might appreciate it." The voice of the thug was smug as two sets of footsteps. "Got him all tied up. No one's touched him since he came here. Well, except for a quick backhand when he tried to escape."

"Where did the marks come from? They're fresh." A muffled, distorted voice asked, and Dick flinched away at the feeling of gloved fingers trace over the ghosts of Catalina.

"Had them when we took him. Probably from the girl."

Silence soon followed. Red Hood gave a simple gesture to the man to exit the room which the thug did quietly. Until the door was closed, Red Hood made sure to lock it. Just in case. He then approached this... this shell of Dick Grayson. The only sign of any fighting back was a nice red mark on his cheek. But it had to take more than a slap to stop Nightwing. The ropes that held a naked Nightwing in such a vulnerable position were soon released and he was cut free by a knife.

The sound of scurrying on the cold floor and shaky breaths filled the room as Dick shrunk to the corner. He didn't even move remotely close to the door.

"Please, please, please..." The weak sobs escaped a trembling Nightwing who was afraid to move away from the corner.

_Gosh, you die for a little while and come back to everything gone to hell._

Frowning behind the hood, Jason noted that Dick had made no attempt to remove the blindfold. He seemed... Afraid to do anything. The pleas broke Jason's heart. Well, there went playing around with Dickiebird for a while. It wouldn't be any fun if Dick was genuinely this distressed. To see Dick curled up, covered in abuse, it hurt to see his idol in such a position, pulled down to cowering in a corner as if just waiting for the pain.

Red Hood approached and crouched down in front of Nightwing, carefully removing the blindfold from him, and then the mask and tossing both aside. Tears were now freely running down the man's cheeks as he hung his head, still pleading desperately. This was all wrong.

"I-I'll be quiet... I won't make a noise... Please, I'll cooperate... Please..." 

Sighing behind the hood, Jason firmly grabbed Dick's chin to make him look up at him. The blue pools of the Grayson weren't as bright as he recalled, they were shattered and so scared. Another stab at Jason's heart. To see him fall silent at the simplest action as if taught to do so.

He needed to know more. Needed to know the extent of the trauma Dick Grayson had gone through while he had been gone and needed to fix it.

With his other hand, he easily removed the red hood from his head and placed it on the ground, making sure Dick was still staring at him. In those beautiful shattered eyes of blue, he saw recognization. A faint hint of a smile crossed Jason's lips but it soon faded seeing Dick only shrink more into the corner and more pleas, apologies began to reach Jason's ears as well. He frowned.

"Jason-Sir-Todd-I-I'm sorry... Please don't... I'm sorry, please..."

Hearing the other man stutter like that was just as heartbreaking as the rest of this. And Jason couldn't help but narrow his eyes. Someone had fucked with Dick's head and body. Someone had tried to make him into some submissive toy. 

"Hey, hey, shush, you don't need to worry, I won't hurt you." Jason tried to assure him with the softest voice he could probably muster at the moment. He carefully reached out to caress Dick's cheek, frowning as he flinched away from the touch. Spotting the frown, Dick hung his head and apologised. Jason shook his head. "What happened, pretty bird?" Jason whispered softly, pulling his hand back from the frightened figure before him. 

The shaky and hushed sobs continued to shake Dick's body as he remained curled in the corner, keeping his head down. He was expecting something, anything but the gentle words Jason was offering. No, Dick was expecting the other to hold him down while using him in some way, to add to the marks on his body from Catalina. Or maybe to beat him senseless, put a bullet in his head. Hell, Dick would be grateful for death. All the shame he caused, not only to himself, to Bruce, to Tim, to Barbara, to Catalina... to Jason. 

And Dick didn't speak.

"Alright," Jason sighed, carefully and cautiously moving to move Nightwing over his shoulder. "We'll fix this, you're alright, keep your head down." He spoke softly still before fixing the red hood over his own head and leaving the room, holding tightly onto Dick Grayson.

Who would have thought that tonight he would be returning to his apartment with a naked, beat, traumatised Dick Grayson?


	2. Healing Process

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick wakes up in a panic. Jason begins to realise the extent of Dick's trauma. What the hell is Bruce?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, just a shit-ton of angst here and I'm trash I know. Still not 100% where I'm really going with this, but I hope people like it?? I'm trash.

Dick was struggling, even when the poor thing fell unconscious. And Jason couldn't decide what else to do but tie the man down on the bed. Bringing Dick to his apartment wasn't the best idea, so he brought him to one of the many safe houses Red Hood had. Despite how traumatised Dick seemed, he was still dangerous, strong, and quick. Jason needed him still while he worked on the wounds that scattered the other's body. His far too thin body.

"Not the ropes... Please, I'll be good."

Hearing the raspy voice brought Jason's attention back to an awake Dick Grayson who was struggling against the ropes now. Those beautiful blue eyes were practically burning through Jason who stood beside the bed. He could hear the heavy, hyperventilating breaths from Dick who was desperately struggling against the ropes, wide eyes on Jason. 

He was acting like Jason was going to kill him.

"Woah, calm down, you're hurting your wrists." Jason pointed out and reached forward to grab Dick's arms tightly to get him to stop struggling. "Stop it. I'm helping you since you won't do it yourself." He scoffed, sitting carefully on the bed, on Dick to hold him down, one knee on either side of Dick's hips. But this position only seemed to cause Dick more distress.

Narrowing his eyes at Dick, he frowned. The man was never one to shy away from physical touch. This wasn't him. And Jason planned to find out what happened. 

"What happened? Why are you acting like this?" Jason snapped sharply at Dick who merely shrunk into the bed, his face becoming red from his breathing. "Stop acting like a brat!" Jason had a short temper lately, especially when he had helped Dick. He could have left him to be sold to some criminal for God knows what.

Dick was silent, slowly stopping his squirming and just staring up at Jason with wide eyes, tearful eyes. His entire body was trembling beneath Jason. At least he wasn't naked anymore. He had shorts on it seemed and there was a shirt on the side of the bed. Jason must have been working on the wounds on his upper half. It took a while for his breathing to fully calm down. "Why... What... Why the ropes? What's happening?" He breathed out quickly.

"Ropes so you don't decide to kick me in the head, your little girlfriend-" Dick winced at that, "-decided to hand you over to a gang, and you're lucky it was my gang." Jason scoffed a bit before finally moving off the other. "If I free you, don't go all crazy, alright? No trying to run away. You won't get far anyway." He grumbled, waiting until Dick gave a hesitant nod before finally releasing him from the ropes. 

The red marks on Dick's wrists caused Jason to scowl before walking away only to return with a plate of food. "It's not fresh, but you need to eat." Jason shoved the plate to Dick who was still staring at him as if he had three heads.

No chance Dick was going to be leaving anytime soon. Not just for his own health, but for Jason's plans. The blue bird would sing straight to the bat. And Jason didn't need that. Not yet at least. Though, it would be amusing to see B's reaction to the Red Hood having Dick in his grasp. Not only that but to see the sorry state Nightwing was in. 

For the most part, Jason had become ruthless, harsh, and nothing close to kind or gentle. He had no reason to. He had been left to die. 

The other ate silently but gratefully, as if he hadn't eaten in a very long time- looked like it to. He made a mental note to look into whatever girl handed over the poor bird. Jason was furious in the condition Dick was in. He knew he shouldn't care, but... Dick wasn't taking care of himself, and no one else was. It only made his grudge against Bruce stronger.

"Lazarus pit, long story, you don't wanna know." Jason summed up quickly to Dick who had made himself so small against the headboard of the bed, now empty plate in front of him as he gave a small nod. "Wanna tell me what happened yet?" He barely finished before Dick was shaking his head.

Jason nodded patiently and took a deep breath before standing from the bed to dump the plate in the sink before returning to the bed.

This was going to be a frustrating time.

* * *

Jason let Dick have the bed. The last thing he needed was for Dick to end up making himself worse by sleeping on the couch. Besides, Jason's slept in worse places. A lot of worse places. The couch was practically a luxury.

For Jason, the night was as peaceful as it got for him. For Dick, he was faced with the usual nightmares, the usual hours awake, just waiting for the sun to rise. So many thoughts running through his head. This was all wrong. Jason had taken him in, was helping him. Help he didn't deserve. Most of his night was curled up with the blankets against the headboard, fighting off these thoughts the best he could.

The thoughts of how much easier it would be if he just... Vanished. Bruce wouldn't have to deal with what Dick had done, Jason wouldn't have to be put through all he was at the moment, sleeping on the couch.

Things had been practically taught to Dick by Catalina. How to act, what to say, what to do. Dick had allowed that to take over his mind. He hadn't had much of a choice in Catalina's grasp. And now, he could only assume Jason would want the same.

So, despite his aching body's protests, he moved to his feet on the cool floor once the clock in the corner hit six a.m. By now, Dick's body was almost on a schedule from Catalina. He was quiet when making his way to the couch, shivering as he hesitantly moved his hands to pull down the shorts he wore. Blinking away tears, he sunk to his knees beside the couch, hanging his head.

Just like Catalina had taught him to. Wait until she awoke for him to tend to her. 

It was hours before Jason finally began to stir, but Dick never left the position on the floor. No matter how much he wanted to simply collapse, to fall over, he remained in place. The punishments Catalina had given him were... Unbearable. He didn't want to know what Jason would do.

"What'cha doing down there, Dickiebird?" The rough voice of Jason spoke through a yawn, eyeing the man on the floor. Naked. God, what a sight. This was dangerous, and Jason had to fight back a grin as he sat up, shifting a bit to try and get comfortable despite the erection in his pants.

The gentle hand that caressed his cheek was new. Any kind of praise was rare from Catalina. 

"I-I..." He stuttered, caught up with letting himself lean a bit into Jason's hand. "Your pleasure... I- you use me however you like." Even with the hand on his cheek, Dick kept his head down, letting his dark bangs cover the teary eyes, trying to force his body to remain stiff to hide any sign or trembling. "I won't disappoint you, please." He spoke quickly. Dick's greatest fear was always disappointing people. Whether it was Bruce or himself, he hated it.

Feeling Jason's hand leave his cheek caused his shoulders to slump. He had already done something wrong. _Stupid, stupid, stupid..._

There were suddenly arms wrapped tightly around him that pulled him to his feet.

"I'm sorry-I'm sorry-I'm sorry, please... I'll be better. Please-please, I can't, I don't know how much... Please." The panicked words escaped his lips suddenly, trying to somehow prepare himself for whatever Jason planned to do, however he planned to punish him. His entire body was trembling, closing his eyes tightly as more apologies escaped his lips.

"Shush with all that," Jason's voice was surprisingly gentle as he let out a long sigh, pulling Dick onto the couch tightly with him, making sure to hold him close. His fingers were moving carefully through the boy's hair slowly. 

This wasn't what Jason was supposed to be doing. This was what Bruce was supposed to be doing- supposed to be a father. 

He began to help slip on Dick's shorts as well as his shirt. It was strange having someone so close. Especially someone he would have been expected to take advantage of. Perhaps he would have too if it was anybody but Dick. Not when Dick was this hurt, acting like some servant, some toy. 

"How long have you been sitting there, pretty bird?"

"Six a.m."

Jason glanced at the clock.

9:45

"Shit, Richard, what the hell were you thinking?" He snapped, tightening his grip a bit on Dick who whimpered, shrinking. A small apology escaped Jason. "How much sleep have you gotten?" Jason gently placed two fingers under Dick's chin to meet his teary eyes.

"I-I don't know... Two I think." Dick mumbled hesitantly and could sense Jason's disapproval. But his arms were so... comforting, warm, and almost safe. Three feelings Dick had not felt in what felt like forever. "I'm sorry, I just thought-"

"I know,"

"I wanted to make you happy, I didn't know-"

"I know,"

Jason had never really been anything close to the touchy-feely comforting type. This was all new to him. But if he had been in Dick's position, he knew he would want to be held, to be told reassurances. "It's alright, you're alright..."

What the hell happened to Dick?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: [ogboywonder](https://ogboywonder.tumblr.com/)


	3. Damage Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason finds out the extent of Dick's obedience. Dick reveals Catalina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of angst and yeah beware.

Holding his knees close to his chest, Dick was sitting silently on the couch. Even if he wanted to leave he doubted he could. Why would he want to leave? To get caught by Bruce? Thrown in prison? That was where he deserved to be at least. But staying here, with someone familiar was far too tempting. Even the worry he felt every time Jason left the safe house as Red Hood, and this was another one of those nights.

When he returned, Dick was just happy he was still intact. Even though the anger was practically radiating off Jason which made Dick feel nervous. Well, more nervous than he usually felt. He didn't like when Jason was angry. 

"I-I... There's food if you're hungry I made on the-"

"Shut it," The sharp snap from Jason who tossed the red hood to the side. Dick flinched away a bit more into the couch, nodding quickly as he directed his gaze away from Jason.

The last thing he wanted was to be thrown out by another because he was too much, too annoying. It was better to do what Jason wanted, surely. It was what Catalina had wanted from him. 

Jason seemed to notice how Dick obeyed so easily, how he flinched away and rested his eyes on the other, frowning deeply. Dick had never been so quiet before, let alone obedient like this. It was wrong. Very wrong. Something was off with him, especially since the incident that morning when he found Dick on his knees waiting for him for hours.

"On your knees," Jason kept a firm voice, narrowing his eyes as Dick immediately slipped to the floor and on his knees. This was all wrong. Jason stepped towards the man, looking down at him as Dick hung his head. It was clear he was trying to hide the panic and fear he was currently feeling, but his body was giving him away with the short, shaky breaths. "C'mon, stand up, what is this?" Jason said quickly, watching as Dick rose. "Just because I'm keeping you here doesn't mean you're some servant."

All Dick did was nod slightly, remaining silent. Catalina had drilled these things into his mind while in his most vulnerable state. The moment Jason grabbed his chin to force him to look up at him pulled a shaky breath from Dick. Feeling his lips on his caused a rush of panic to flush through him, but he didn't dare struggle. He didn't need to feel whatever punishment Jason wished.

Dick felt himself pushed onto the couch, forcing his lips to part from Jason's who was now working on his pants. Every muscle in Dick's body was tense, and each passing second caused his breathing to quicken until he was hyperventilating but trying to somehow force himself to be quiet. "G-Gag," He choked out. It was how Catalina kept him quiet.

But Jason didn't plan on doing anything. Hearing the word he choked out practically broke his heart as he stared up at him, lifting a hand, noticing Dick flinch away, but gently ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to force you into anything. You're a human being, Dick, not some toy." He spoke carefully, moving his hands away from anywhere near Dick's pants.

For the past few months, that had been all that Dick was. Feeling his own emotions had been far from normal, he felt whatever he was told to or fear and worry. The first few days, Dick had been in a catatonic state with Catalina. Then, she was able to poison his mind to her liking.

Dick looked confused hearing Jason as if he struggled to comprehend that Jason didn't wish to use him the same way Catalina had. "I don't... I'm sorry." It had to be because something was wrong with him. "I-I can fix it, whatever it is you want me to be, I will, I won't disappoint you, I'm sorry. Please, I'll be better, please." He was once again starting to shrink away, afraid of some kind of punishment for not being up to Jason's standards.

"No, no, no, stop all that talk. I want Dick Grayson. Nightwing. Boy Wonder. This isn't you." Jason spoke softly and stood from the couch to let Dick have some breathing room. He sat beside the couch instead, his hand carefully moving to hand one of Dick's, stroking his knuckles with his thumb. "You're not here to please me or anything. You don't exist to fulfil someone's perverted fantasy, no matter how good you look."

The words were hard for Dick to comprehend, but he tried to pull himself back from the pile of broken debris Catalina had caused to hide his true self. A small nod of understanding as he tried to focus on the gentle touches on his hand.

"How long did she have you?"

* * *

Telling Jason about Catalina wasn't easy. Not at all. Especially when he could sense the anger from the other whenever he explained what specifically she had done. It caused him to hold back the biggest details with fear of making Jason angry again.

"And Bruce?" Jason questioned, still rubbing calming circles on Dick's knuckles with his thumb. "Does he know about her?" He watched as Dick furiously shook his head. Of course not, leave it up to Bruce to abandon his son.

Dick hadn't told Jason about Blockbuster. How could he? How could he let the other know he had killed someone? Let her kill him? Bruce would have easily disowned him, and he knew it. He was a murderer now. He belonged in prison. "He'd hate me... For letting her do all of that, letting her degrade me... I-I can't tell him." That was true as well. Afraid of the look of disappointment on Bruce's face when he found out.

It took everything for Jason not to go off about Bruce. Dick didn't need that right now. Since when was he the one to become the comforting one in the family? Strange. Though with Dick, he didn't mind. "You're too good for him, he doesn't realise how amazing you are. No one does. How strong you are, anybody who's still sane after what that bitch has done is one of the strongest people I know."

Dick stayed quiet, taking in his words. But Dick looked up to Bruce so much, depended on his opinion, his judgement. All he did was move a little closer to Jason. "I... I'm not used to this. At all. I don't know how you want me to act. I don't want to force you to punish me." He said quickly, eyes on Jason.

"No way I'm ever going to do anything as a punishment to you. Well, unless you as for it." A tease, of course, and Jason flashed him a quick grin. "But you need to relax. No one here will hurt you and you can do as you please here until this is all over. You're safe and free here." He promised.

Another small nod. Dick had to trust him. He knew that. Trust was hard, but he had to trust Jason. He was all he had at the moment. And all he wanted. "I'm sorry you're stuck with me." Dick spoke quietly. 

"Better you than replacement. Hear he's a bit of a know-it-all." He teased lightly, looking up at Dick with a smile. "I should be the one apologising. Sorry you got wrapped up in this. But I'm glad I've got you instead of her." He told Dick with another smile before moving to stand, letting his lips move gently to Dick's who subconsciously moved his own against his. "Now, I don't want to wake up to find you on your knees as some slave. You need your rest."

With a small nod, Dick agreed before he was off to bed. Jason watched before glancing to the food for him on the table. He was starting to feel guilty for how he planned to use Dick against Bruce.


	4. Wrong Doings

"He's wrong, you know," Jason whispered soothingly, his fingers rubbing calming circles on Dick's skin as they lay. A good few weeks had passed since he first found Dick tied up by his men. A good few weeks since he had found Dick on his knees for him. "You're better than him, and he just doesn't want to admit that." A light kiss was now pressed to his shoulder. "He doesn't deserve to be near you."

Of course, they were talking about Bruce. Jason had been slowly working these negative thoughts towards the Bat into Dick's mind. Now, they lay on the bed, Jason's arm protectively around the other man. Dick was still hesitant about Jason, understandingly so, but he was slowly letting himself trust him. Maybe it was the soft praises Jason whispered to him, the constant reassurance he offered and the gentle touches. Light kisses and soothing words were what Dick needed most, Jason knew this. But he also knew Dick was the key to breaking Bruce.

Right now, Jason had Dick's head resting on his chest, looking down at him. "He won't approve of killing," He noticed Dick flinch at the mention. "But you don't need his approval. You're better than him. Your case was extreme, you had no other option than to let him die." He purred softly, still soothing Dick.

The trembling and panicked breathing was normal to Dick. Jason was still trying to get used to the damaged bird. But he was trying, despite his own conflicted feelings. Every time Dick submitted so easily it made it harder to deny him. Whoever did this to him really knew how to train a person to obey. It could be simple words that caused Dick to respond this way, and Jason had managed to figure out a few of them.

'Knees' caused Dick to move to his knees and open his mouth.  
'Clothes' caused Dick to begin to remove his clothes.  
'Still' caused Dick to remain in place wherever he was no matter the position.  
'Silence' caused Dick to refuse to speak unless given clear permission.  
'Come' cause Dick to crawl.

Jason tried his best to avoid those words, as well as any other possible words that might had been installed as a command to Dick. 

"He... He'll hate me." Dick whispered with a shaky voice.

"You're his son. He won't hate you."

It was hard for Dick to deny Jason, he hadn't been given the option to deny Catalina. But what Jason was asking of him... To show Bruce what he had done, to tell him... Jason's intentions were good, he understood that. Still, it was hard.

Another light kiss to his skin from Jason. Dick finally agreed after a few more soothing words, comforting words. "Good boy," The praise caused Dick to smile knowing he had done well. Knowing that he had managed to make Jason somewhat happy. It was the best praise he could receive. His eyes followed as Jason began to shift so he had Dick on his back, meeting his eyes. Slowly, Jason began to move down Dick's body.

"Wha-"

"Silence." 

Dick fell silent, feeling his body tense slightly feeling Jason move his hand to his cock.

"I'm going to make you feel good, Dickiebird, don't you worry."

* * *

This was the location Jason had set up. It felt strange to be outside, to be alone without someone hovering over him to control him. In his hands was the file that belonged to the deceased Blockbuster- Dick didn't question how Jason got ahold of them of the Nightwing suit he had Dick wear. The warehouse was empty except for him and a video camera in the corner of the room, hidden. Jason had insisted.

On the wall was a projected screen, ready for a video to be played. Jason had given him the video. Dick didn't question. 

"Nightwing," The gruff voice of Batman soon reached Dick as he jumped slightly. Act normal, he remembered Jason saying. "What is this?"

Dick didn't know how Jason sent Bruce here, and he probably didn't want to know. Though, Dick knew to be grateful for what Jason was doing for him, allowing him to be honest with Bruce, to come clean. The video that Jason wanted him to play was something Dick was unsure about, but there was the lingering threat that Jason could possibly do something worse than what Catalina did. So he didn't dare to disobey.

"I haven't been completely honest with you..." Swallowing hard, Nightwing stepped forward, staring down at the files in his trembling hands. How long had it been since he was in his Nightwing suit? The night Blockbuster died. Months. "I... I-I killed..." He couldn't finish, just hanging his head before hesitantly handing over the file to Bruce who was silent, no emotion, as he took the files.

Approaching the video player while Bruce silently looked through the files, he waited. 

"Dick, this only says you were at the scene."

"I let her kill him..." He responded weakly, keeping his back to Bruce. 

"If you blame yourself for every death of a person, innocent or not, you'll go crazy with guilt."

He fell silent, keeping his tearful eyes on the floor. This time, it was his fault. He could have, he should have stopped Catalina. Should have explained to her. No, all he did was step aside and let her take the life. Bruce wouldn't see this, wouldn't see how this was his fault. All his fault. Bruce was stubborn when his mind was made up.

Dick lifted his hand to play the video, lifting his head to look up at it. 

Panic rushed through him. He recalled the video cameras Catalina would often use, to sell for high prices to anyone who wanted to see Nightwing like this. Handcuffed to a bed, just laying there, staring blankly at the wall. Dick fell to his knees as he watched in horror, ignoring the urge he had to break the player. Jason's request, he reminded himself, Jason's order.

The woman soon came into the frame, moving onto the bed. She did well to keep her face covered while all Dick had was his mask in his catatonic state. A few days after Blockbuster's death this seemed to have been filmed, Dick could barely remember anymore. There was a rag in his mouth as a gag as the woman lowered herself down onto his cock. Dick flinched hearing her moan as he took shaky breaths.

When the video changes, it was clearly a much later date. Dick was free from bonds, fully clothed in the middle of a room that was empty. From behind the camera, a voice was heard. Her voice.

"Clothes," It started. Dick watched as his past self began to quickly fumble to undress. Before he realised what was happening, he found himself beginning to undress from the Nightwing suit.

"Silence," A moment before that final command.

"Crawl,"

Dick reluctantly began to crawl towards the only person in the room- the person who currently owned him since no one else was in the room. The video shut off and Dick was at Batman's feet, trembling violently, keeping his mouth shut. His head remained down, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks only to land on the floor. No, he couldn't cry. Not in front of Bruce, not like this. The man had to have been furious enough with him by now. Dick was expecting the worst punishment of his life. 

Everything was silent except for the struggling breaths of Dick, always finding it terribly hard to breathe it seemed. He remained on his hands and knees, awaiting the next order.

"Richard," The voice was firm and caused Dick to flinch, fighting against the urge to shrink away. "Richard," This time it came out as a low growl. Dick broke, collapsing on the floor with a sob. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry- I'm scum I-I know, please... I'm sorry. I'm filthy-horrible. I deserve nothing but-but pain, please." He rambled out desperately as Dick began to ask for forgiveness the way Catalina had taught him. He began to kiss Batman's boots until Bruce suddenly pulled them away. 

By the time Dick looked up, Batman was nowhere in sight.

* * *

It felt like hours Dick remained on the ground alone in the warehouse until he felt himself being scooped up. Dick didn't glance at the person, he could tell who by the grip. Jason. Dick hesitantly nuzzled into the man who held him close and sobbed quietly as he was carried away.

"Shh... I've got you... It's alright, Dick." Jason's voice was soft as he glanced down at Dick in his arms, feeling a tug on his heart. Guilt. He had done this, caused Dick to relive his nightmares only to start his own vengeance on Bruce. He wanted to somehow make Dick forget all his nightmares, to forget all the pain. Jason hated himself, for being blind, for practically forcing Dick into this. 

Maybe he should stop, for Dick's sake. It wasn't right, even by Jason's standards.

By the time he had Dick back at the safe house, he made sure Dick was secure on the couch with blankets- he knew Dick liked to wrap himself in them, specifically the big, blue, soft one that Jason had to give up most of the time for Dick. Not that he really minded.

He left to get Dick something warm to drink, he had noticed how much Dick had liked the raspberry tea Jason had- something he hadn't even tried but had for some reason. He continued to buy the tea for Dick, making sure the stock was always filled so Dick didn't have to worry about Jason being angry for him drinking it all. Jason couldn't possibly care less.

Dick had silent tears rolling down his cheeks now by the time Jason returned with tea, sitting down next to him on the couch. "Dickiebird?" He asked softly, placing the tea on the table, gently rubbing the man's back.

"Why, Jason?"


	5. The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason elaborates on the videos of Dick with Catalina. Dick has nightmares and continues to try and serve Jason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lowkey have no idea what I'm doing with this I'm so sorry. :'D

Everything hurt. Nightwing wasn't the same, but Jason thought it was a good idea for him to go on patrol. Now, he was sitting on the couch in Jason's safe house, blood once again painting his body which was now naked for Jason to tend to the wounds. So many bruises and all Dick did was stare at the floor while Jason finished up bandaging his swollen ankle. Though, he did give a small flinch when the man kissed his cheek.

Things had evolved between them. Dick remained in Jason's custody, unsure if he felt safer or more unsafe here with him. But it was shelter, and Dick didn't have any. That, and it was hard for him to go out to live on his own after Catalina. She had managed to make Dick so dependant on her. 

Before he knew what was happening, Dick found himself curled up in Jason's arms of the bed. The bed was comfy, at least, and Jason was warm. Dick remained silent. After that night with Bruce... He was conflicted.

For Jason, he selfishly exploited Dick's weak moment. More gentle thoughts of how to despise Bruce planted carefully into Dick's mind. It only caused Dick to feel more overwhelmed than he already was. Jason was trying to take care of him, thought that maybe going on patrol would put a little pep in his step. Stupid idea it seemed. Even when Red Hood intended to follow, watch over him, but ended up side tracked due to a scene in an alleyway.

So, here they were, Jason trying to somehow make up for his wrong doings to the man he held close. At the same time, he continued to whisper calming words, words against Batman. It... It had to be done. Or at least that was what he was telling himself.

"Pretty bird?" Jason cooed softly, his fingers moving gently through the other's hair. No response. Well, except for Dick nuzzling a bit closer to him. At first, the closeness had been awkwardly uncomfortable for Jason. Especially after how many times Dick has flinched away from his touch.

A light kiss was then pressed to Dick's forehead as Jason sighed slowly, watching the man who was beginning to drift off to sleep. He noticed how Dick was changing towards him. As if he... owned him. Surely big bird didn't think so. Before, Jason had thought it was bad, but now... He wasn't sure how to help. And every time he tried, it only seems to make things worse.

He recalls the videos he had gotten his hands on from that damn Tarantula bitch. The only reason she was still breathing for back up, and God he hoped he would never have to use her to keep Dick in line. Jason hoped he had managed to gather all the videos made. And he had sat through each one, he needed to know just what happened.

* * *

_Nightwing had been stripped from his costume, all except his mask. At least Catalina allowed Dick that much._

_This was the video that stuck to Jason the most. The video where he heard Dick plead and cry out like he never heard before. This was the worst of all of the many videos. Hearing the muffled sobs as the woman forced a gag into the helpless Nightwing's mouth._

_The image of his malnourished body hurt Jason to look at. Made him sick. The worst part was he wasn't able to remember what Catalina's reasoning was for this particular time for holding food away from Dick. Struggling? Crying? Making a mess? Not following orders? The list was endless. Not a minute didn't go by where Jason wasn't glad he was able to get his hands on Dick, to make sure he didn't have to live with this anymore. At times, Jason wondered if he treated Dick any better? Definitely not nearly what the man deserved._

_It was only a few moments before Catalina practically shoved a trembling woman to the bed, clearly crying with soft sobs. There were bruises, it was clear the girl had been kidnapped. Jason doubted she was even out of high school._

_Dick was released from the bonds, his weak body slumping against the bed, shifting quickly to curl up against the headboard, so scared. That was when Catalina pulled the girl towards him. The girl was as naked as Nightwing was, except she had no mask. Didn't have any secret identity just... Some girl. But Catalina was determined, enough where her rough hands replaced the girl in Dick's bonds._

_That was when the worst began._

_Nightwing was pulled between the girls legs, forced to make eye contact with her. Whatever Catalina was saying, Jason ignored, he couldn't focus on anything but the pained expression on Dick's face, knowing what he was going to be forced to do._

_There wasn't much in the vigilante, that much was clear, but whatever energy he had left was put into struggles, pleas. They fell to deaf ears as Catalina made sure the cock sunk into the girl on the bed._

_Nightwing sobbed, apologizing to the girl again and again until his throat was raw from his words._

_There was a whip in Catalina's hand now. Not one normally used for sex, no, this was the real deal, intended to hurt. Each time Nightwing even slowed down while thrusting into the girl, a lash was delivered, a long mark of red appearing on his back causing him to reluctantly continue._

_But that was only part one._

_Catalina got rid of the girl. Now, the girl was replaced with a man. This man had a mask. Jason easily recognized Deathstroke who was calmly approaching, examining the sight of Dick now returned to his bonds, tearful face in the pillow as he sobbed._

_For a moment, just a moment, Jason believed there was a chance Deathstroke would offer Dick some kind of mercy. Then, the mercenary began to undo his pants before making his way to the bed, crawling onto it behind Dick. Whatever Deathstroke was whispering to Nightwing was inaudible, but it only caused more of a struggle from Dick, perhaps realizing who was behind him._

__

__

There wasn't much done to prepare Dick, who had clearly never been taken from behind like this. The only thing to lubricate the cock was Dick's own saliva Deathstroke had collected with his fingers in his mouth.

"Please, please... N-No, please, please... No!" Dick's cries slowly faded with each thrust from Deathstroke, and he was rough with Nightwing. It hurt Jason as if he could feel the pain of each thrust that hurt Dick. 

_The last image of the video was Nightwing, staring into blankness with tears, a combination of red and white or blood and cum running down his legs._

* * *

If Jason had known what the videos fully entailed, perhaps he wouldn't have watched them. But it made him more compassionate towards Dick, allowed him to become aware of what would hurt his pretty bird. Yes, his. Dick was his now, to take care of, to make happy. Even as the man slept quietly in his arms, exhausted, Jason watched over him, refusing to let him go.

His fingers trailed up and down the man's bare back, running over scars and bruises. He was still broken after what Jason had done, made him go through. God, he hated that he felt guilty for hurting the perfect Dick Grayson. He held the man close.

The nightmares were the worst in Jason's opinion, to have to just hold the man as he faced worse than Jason could imagine. Then, there was Dick acting a combination between some house wife and a slave. No matter what he tried, Dick continued. The days when he would wake up to breakfast then Dick stripped from head to toe as if just waiting to be used. Jason wouldn't dare. Dick wasn't in the right mind, he knew that. He couldn't continue with his plan to ruin Grayson even further.

Things were starting to get out of control, even for Jason. He wanted to do right by Dick, but he didn't know how to take care of him, to help him. It seemed Bruce didn't either, that bastard. Part of him wanted to snap the Bat's neck for this, but he knew Dick would only blame himself. He blamed himself for everything. Even Jason's problems.

If he was upset, Dick took it upon himself to blame himself and try to fix it. If Jason had any kind of injury, Dick blamed himself. Hell, if Jason did anything negative, Dick blamed himself.

All Jason could do was hold him, try to soothe him. To refuse the tempting service Dick was offering him. No, Dick felt forced to do it, didn't feel as if there was another way. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Dick began to rambled to Jason once he began to stir, realizing he must have woken Jason from his nightmares. "I'm sorry... I'll fix it, please, I'm so sorry." He breathed out, keeping his eyes closed tightly with his body trembling against Jason. 

"No, no, shh, I was up, pretty bird." He breathed out, peppering light kisses along the man's skin.


	6. Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the final chapter, Jason decides to finish things off while Bruce attempts to help Dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this. Not sure what else I could really add to this, but I'm still working on all my other unfinished fics!
> 
> Check out my tumblr, send me prompts or whatever! [ogboywonder](https://ogboywonder.tumblr.com/)

Each shaky groan pulled from Dick's lips caused tears, trying to somehow quiet himself by biting his lip. The thrusts were beginning to quicken, and Dick grasped onto the bed sheets. If Jason heard any signs of pain, he would stop. Jason needed this, and Dick had told him he wanted it. He owed the man that much for feeding him, offering shelter. He owed Jason everything. This was nothing compared to what Catalina had done. 

"Dick," The man grunted from behind him, fingers digging into his hips to hold him in place. The skin would most likely bruise. When Jason finally released, he was panting, carefully pulling out with a long sigh before collapsing beside Dick, collecting the man in his arms securely to shower him with kisses.

By the time Dick was turned to Jason, he had wiped any sign of silent tears, desperately attempting a smile up at Jason who was continuing to shower him with kisses. Eventually, Dick couldn't help put give out a light chuckle, nuzzling into the other's chest.

A month since Bruce had seen his prodigal son's state. Of course, the Bat had searched everywhere for Nightwing. But he had failed at protecting Dick, failed at protecting Jason. Dick needed someone to look after him, to help him. Carefully, Jason gripped Dick's jaw to make him look up at him, leaning down slightly to press his lips against the older man's. "You're such a good boy."

Praises like that seemed to make Dick relax, allowed Jason to try and figure out how to help his brother, pull him out of his rut. To Jason, Dick seemed to be getting better, it was what Dick was showing him at least.

With a smile, Dick nuzzled more into Jason, letting his tired body begin to melt against the others.

* * *

The night was clear, Red Hood enjoyed the stars, as cheesy as it sounded, it was true. A perfect night to track down the bitch, put a round in her, leave her dying. He wanted to get some information out of the girl first, what she did to Dick. Anything that might help him help Dick.

Throughout the night, it was easy to find Tarantula. Just about as easy as it was to get information out of her. But the easiest part was pulling the trigger and watching as the life left her eyes. Dick didn't need to know about this. Didn't need to know he had killed someone for him. That was what got him in this mess in the first place. He wouldn't add onto the man's damage.

Returning that morning to the safe house, the sun rising, Jason stopped in his tracks, frowning. 

Something was off.

After tossing the hood to the side, he stepped carefully inside, hand hovering over the gun in his holster. Dick was usually there to greet him, to hug him, kiss away the anger. But he was nowhere, didn't even hear the other man.

The paper on the table caused him to narrow his eyes, quickly approaching and grabbing the note.

_'You will no longer force Nightwing through your horrors and torment. He is safe and will be given the help he needs and deserves. Do not dare try to take him for your own use again. Nightwing is home, you've lost your toy.'_

_~B_

Jason crumpled the letter in his hand before throwing it at the wall with a grunt, panting heavily, furious. His torment? He was trying to help the damn acrobat! Who did Bruce think he was, taking Dick away from him like this.

Dick was his, not the old man's. Bruce had no idea how to help Dick. The damn Bat gave Dick nothing but panic, afraid of what Daddy Bats would say to him, do to him. Imprison him, hurt him, the list went on from what Dick had told him. Fine, Bruce can have the bird. For now.

* * *

"Dick, calm down." Bruce's voice was surprisingly gentle as he watched Dick tear the covers off from the bed. The command did not go to deaf ears. Dick reluctantly remained sitting on the bed, taking shaky breaths to try and calm himself.

"Take me back... You-You don't understand. You don't want me, J-Jason is supposed to own me now, take me back!" A sharp punch came from Dick, connecting his fist with Bruce's jaw causing a grunt from the older man. Still, it wasn't enough for Dick to get away from his previous guardian. "Damn it, Bruce! Let me go!" He shouted with tears in his eyes, struggling to breathe as he was forced back to his old bed.

With a huff, Dick glared up at the ceiling knowing he was in no state to be able to fight Batman. Jason had put nothing but hate towards Bruce in his mind.

"You left me..." Dick mumbled quietly, eyes glued to the ceiling still. 

Bruce paused in the doorway, turning back to him.

"When you saw those videos... Saw me like that, you left me." He reminded the man, making sure to keep his teary eyes away from him. "Jason helped me. Not you. He's right about you, Bruce. You're no hero. You're just a man who beats people up without a second thought. Have you ever thought that maybe those criminals needed your help? Maybe not all of them, maybe some do belong locked up, but instead of helping them, you beat them into a coma and send them to jail... Why?" He spoke quietly, voice shaky. 

SIlence filled the rooms. Dick scoffed before turning to his side, back facing Bruce. A scarred back. With his head on the pillow, he nuzzled up with the blanket.

"I failed him, and I failed you." His voice sounded broken, sad, disappointed in himself. As he should be. "I'm sorry, Dick. He didn't deserve it and you didn't deserve any of that. If I had known-"

"Eight months, Bruce. Eight months passed before you saw me again. Since she took me. You didn't think once to check on me? To even look up what Nightwing's latest activity was?" He snapped sharply, sitting up to glare at the man now.

More silence as Bruce stared at the ground.

"She sold me. Like I was some... Some kind of prized painting. If she didn't sell me into Red Hood's territory if Jason wasn't the one who found me... Had it been anyone but Jason, I would still be like that or dead." His voice was firm instead of quiet and soft, instead of submitting to an owner. Jason had helped him.

With his final word, Dick shook his head, sinking back into the bed with a sigh. "Get out."

And Bruce did, knowing he had done wrong to both of his sons. His partners. Bruce would make sure Dick was taken care of by Alfred- as if the older man truly needed Bruce to ask it of him. Alfred knew how to deal with these things.

As for Jason, Bruce would let the man calm down before speaking with him again. Let him clear his head. The way he used Dick, Bruce was afraid to think about. Perhaps Jason was unsure of what he was doing, how he was hurting Dick. But he still did more than Bruce, he kept Dick away from any other harm, more than Bruce had ever done. He failed them both.


End file.
